I feel like I'm not very motivated to do anything that I used to love doing. I don't feel like doing my favorite crafts, it's too cold to exercise outdoors, I don't have any desire to edit photos...
I'm exhausted by the end of the day and feel like sitting on my ass with a fresh bottle of wine. But that's probably because between working full time, going to school, being a mommy of an 8 month old who is crawling everywhere and being totally sleep deprived, I'm fucking frazzled. Not just frazzled, FUCKING FRAZZLED.
On top of being fucking frazzled, I'm not a self-motivator. Especially when my plate is this full. I have to do group exercise at the gym or work out with a buddy if I'm going to work out at all. Even group exercise is not enough motivation for me these days. I love spin. I'm finally allowed to spin now after my foot surgery. Have I gone lately? Nope. I keep telling myself I'm going to walk Alameda beach both ways. Have I? Nope. I keep planning on buying canvas to paint, going to the antique fair to buy goods and start my online business, and making an effort to update my blog more. Nope, nope and nope.
So? I am now looking for fellow lazy-asses. Let's motivate each other. Come on, let's go walk Alameda beach this weekend. Ready?
I'm serious.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Confessions of a Picky Eater
I'm a picky eater.
I feel like there should be a support group for this syndrome.
It's not like picky eaters choose to be picky. In fact, I'm ashamed of it. It's not easy going somewhere when someone has cooked you a meal and picking out the mushrooms you can't stomach or the raw tomatoes that your host took the time to cut up all pretty. It's either pick them out or gag in front of the cook, risking insulting them even further. It's also not easy to go out to dinner and only have one thing on the menu sound remotely appetizing to you. I don't need all that extra hoopla on my food. I don't need a prosciutto reduction or a shaved fennel garnish nestled in a wasabi aioli that touches my already over-seasoned main course. I love the Bay Area and the East Bay has a wonderful selection of delicious restaurants that could give a foodie wet dreams.
But sometimes simple is good. Some of us are comfortable with simple. My Step-Mother is one of THEE very best cooks I know and everything she makes has very basic, whole ingredients. Asparagus soup. Crab salad in endive cups. Parmasean stuffed zucchini. Everything she makes has simple ingredients that I have 1) heard of 2) can pronounce.
Recently I have even been dipping my toes into uncharted food territory, stepping outside my comfort zone to try new things. But what the hell is wrong with good-old-fashioned salt and pepper? The pickiness started when I was a kid. My family is from the Mid-West are a meat and potatoes kinda family. Super simple meals adorn the table every night. Green beans. Mashed potatoes. Pork chops from the grill. Corn. Mac and Cheese. An occasional pizza casserole. But you get the idea.
On top of that simple food background, I had a very scary food allergy experience a few years back. I ate a meal I used to frequently consume (a burrito from my favorite joint) and broke out in very scary NFL-regulation-football-sized hives that covered my body from head to toe. To this day, I still don't know what caused it or what sort of cross-contamination occurred when preparing my super simple burrito that landed me in the emergency room. I am severely allergic to kiwi and borderline allergic to mango and pineapple. If I ask you what is in your salad dressing or marinade, it's not personal. I'm not testing your culinary abilities and I'm sure what you've prepared is amazing. I'm just a paranoid-ass (borderline OCD) girl who had a few bad food experiences and would rather watch her son graduate than die of anaphylaxis. Is that unreasonable? I don't think so. To me, it's realistic.
So between the legit food allergy scares and the uncontrollable gag reflex, I am a self-admitted hot mess when it comes to food options.
Forgive me. I assure you, I have many other fine qualities that will make up for this unfortunate quality of mine.
I feel like there should be a support group for this syndrome.
It's not like picky eaters choose to be picky. In fact, I'm ashamed of it. It's not easy going somewhere when someone has cooked you a meal and picking out the mushrooms you can't stomach or the raw tomatoes that your host took the time to cut up all pretty. It's either pick them out or gag in front of the cook, risking insulting them even further. It's also not easy to go out to dinner and only have one thing on the menu sound remotely appetizing to you. I don't need all that extra hoopla on my food. I don't need a prosciutto reduction or a shaved fennel garnish nestled in a wasabi aioli that touches my already over-seasoned main course. I love the Bay Area and the East Bay has a wonderful selection of delicious restaurants that could give a foodie wet dreams.
But sometimes simple is good. Some of us are comfortable with simple. My Step-Mother is one of THEE very best cooks I know and everything she makes has very basic, whole ingredients. Asparagus soup. Crab salad in endive cups. Parmasean stuffed zucchini. Everything she makes has simple ingredients that I have 1) heard of 2) can pronounce.
Recently I have even been dipping my toes into uncharted food territory, stepping outside my comfort zone to try new things. But what the hell is wrong with good-old-fashioned salt and pepper? The pickiness started when I was a kid. My family is from the Mid-West are a meat and potatoes kinda family. Super simple meals adorn the table every night. Green beans. Mashed potatoes. Pork chops from the grill. Corn. Mac and Cheese. An occasional pizza casserole. But you get the idea.
On top of that simple food background, I had a very scary food allergy experience a few years back. I ate a meal I used to frequently consume (a burrito from my favorite joint) and broke out in very scary NFL-regulation-football-sized hives that covered my body from head to toe. To this day, I still don't know what caused it or what sort of cross-contamination occurred when preparing my super simple burrito that landed me in the emergency room. I am severely allergic to kiwi and borderline allergic to mango and pineapple. If I ask you what is in your salad dressing or marinade, it's not personal. I'm not testing your culinary abilities and I'm sure what you've prepared is amazing. I'm just a paranoid-ass (borderline OCD) girl who had a few bad food experiences and would rather watch her son graduate than die of anaphylaxis. Is that unreasonable? I don't think so. To me, it's realistic.
So between the legit food allergy scares and the uncontrollable gag reflex, I am a self-admitted hot mess when it comes to food options.
Forgive me. I assure you, I have many other fine qualities that will make up for this unfortunate quality of mine.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Getting Back to the Old Me
Alas!
The momentous occasion has arrived. My surgery was completed this morning and I am on my was to becoming the old me. Not just physically, but mentally as well. You see, I have had a problem with my foot since before my pregnancy. As of recent, I have been unable to be consistently active. Walks along Alameda beach were out and the only exercise that didn't send waves up my pain was swimming, which I'm pretty shitty at.
Now? All I can think about is how in 2-3 weeks, these bandages will be off and I will be active once again.
I have started an Etsy account for my online store, Abodeable. I will be selling vintage and hand crafted housewares. My first scouting mission will be October 2nd and it can't come soon enough. But for now, I will be resting so that I heal perfectly and can get back to the Old Me as soon as possible.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
She's Crafty
The stress of being super busy all the time is winding down. I've started some crafty projects that I'll be sharing soon and of course, have 153,958 other things on my plate as well. School starts in 5 days and work isn't slowing down. Cooper is obviously still in need of the majority of my time. That leaves me little ME time... but I'm getting used to it.
I've found ways to have time to myself. At night, before bed, I've been finding time to read. Sometimes only a page or two at a time, but I'm still getting some reading in. After the baby goes to bed I occasionally treat myself to a glass (more like half glass) of wine and put my feet up.
When the baby naps, I've been working on various crafts. I started an Etsy store and with the help of my Step-Mother, Kelley, I will be stocking the virtual shelves shortly. I'm super excited to start this adventure. I will mainly be focusing on home decor, but will dabble with whatever I get my hands on for a while. Kelley is a very successful ex-high school teacher turned corporate executive, who deals antiques on the side. We're going to take our first trip together to the Alameda Point Antique fair in early September to get some ideas and start shopping. I've named the store Abodable.
I'm super excited to start school. Every class I complete gets me closer to my goal and means I get to move on to yet another class to "make my bitch". Starting Monday, intermediate Algebra will be my bitch (I love saying that).
When I find I have down time these days, I'm almost bored. I'm starting to enjoy being busy all the time and having my phone's "to-do" app filled with different lists. It makes like exciting.
I've found ways to have time to myself. At night, before bed, I've been finding time to read. Sometimes only a page or two at a time, but I'm still getting some reading in. After the baby goes to bed I occasionally treat myself to a glass (more like half glass) of wine and put my feet up.
When the baby naps, I've been working on various crafts. I started an Etsy store and with the help of my Step-Mother, Kelley, I will be stocking the virtual shelves shortly. I'm super excited to start this adventure. I will mainly be focusing on home decor, but will dabble with whatever I get my hands on for a while. Kelley is a very successful ex-high school teacher turned corporate executive, who deals antiques on the side. We're going to take our first trip together to the Alameda Point Antique fair in early September to get some ideas and start shopping. I've named the store Abodable.
I'm super excited to start school. Every class I complete gets me closer to my goal and means I get to move on to yet another class to "make my bitch". Starting Monday, intermediate Algebra will be my bitch (I love saying that).
When I find I have down time these days, I'm almost bored. I'm starting to enjoy being busy all the time and having my phone's "to-do" app filled with different lists. It makes like exciting.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Operation Slim Down
Now that my darling Cooper is gong to be 5 months, it’s dawned on me that once I cut down on his nursing (by giving him more solids), I won’t be burning as many calories as I am now. Therefore, I need to stop eating like a glutton. Moderation isn't working for me right now. I have been eating whatever I want, whenever I want while nursing. This includes dairy and meat, both of which I was supposed to cut down on a while back. I’ve lost 45 lbs of my baby weight and have 10-15 more lbs to go. I may not be gaining weight, but I’ve stopped losing weight and I will be in trouble once I’m not burning that extra 300 calories per feeding. It doesn’t help that I’ve stopped exercising. I am not able to walk as much as I used to or go to spin class at the moment, as I’m waiting to have surgery on my foot.
It’s ridiculous to be complaining and whining about not losing weight when you eat the way I’ve been eating. Since I’ve been nursing, my body has been craving foods I’ve never cared for in my life. I constantly crave soda and cheese.
My solution? To stop being lazy and take care of myself. Here are a few guidelines I will try to follow starting Monday:
No fried food. That’s simple.
No white flours.I don’t eat much white flour, but even the occasional white flour bread makes me feel bloated. Time to switch back to whole grain and only whole grain.
No processed foods. In other words, if I can’t pronounce it, I’m not eating it.
No soda. My beloved Root Beer will have to wait for birthdays.
No meat. ...With the exception of fish and occasional free range chicken/turkey/pork. Red meat is no bueno and pork, although white meat, contributes to endometrial growth.
No dairy.I was supposed to have cut this out long ago as well. Shame on me for cheating. This means I will have to give up my morning lattes. It will save me some money too. Soy is off limits with endometriosis (it promotes excess estrogen production)
I’m starting to step-up my water intake already. Lots and lots of water. Hopefully this will help my skin out as well.
D-Day is August 1st. Until then, I will slowly be getting used to my new (actually reclaimed) eating habits. It's not a diet, it's just healthier choices. It’s time to take care of business and get healthy. I hope to start swimming next week with Tara, if I can find a bathing suit that fits these disgustingly large boobs that I’ve become stuck with (It’s pretty difficult to find a bathing suit for a G cup when you’re a size 10 in pants).
Wish me luck. I hope to not be posting a blog like this again in 3 months. Let’s hope it sticks.
It’s ridiculous to be complaining and whining about not losing weight when you eat the way I’ve been eating. Since I’ve been nursing, my body has been craving foods I’ve never cared for in my life. I constantly crave soda and cheese.
My solution? To stop being lazy and take care of myself. Here are a few guidelines I will try to follow starting Monday:
No fried food. That’s simple.
No white flours.I don’t eat much white flour, but even the occasional white flour bread makes me feel bloated. Time to switch back to whole grain and only whole grain.
No processed foods. In other words, if I can’t pronounce it, I’m not eating it.
No soda. My beloved Root Beer will have to wait for birthdays.
No meat. ...With the exception of fish and occasional free range chicken/turkey/pork. Red meat is no bueno and pork, although white meat, contributes to endometrial growth.
No dairy.I was supposed to have cut this out long ago as well. Shame on me for cheating. This means I will have to give up my morning lattes. It will save me some money too. Soy is off limits with endometriosis (it promotes excess estrogen production)
I’m starting to step-up my water intake already. Lots and lots of water. Hopefully this will help my skin out as well.
D-Day is August 1st. Until then, I will slowly be getting used to my new (actually reclaimed) eating habits. It's not a diet, it's just healthier choices. It’s time to take care of business and get healthy. I hope to start swimming next week with Tara, if I can find a bathing suit that fits these disgustingly large boobs that I’ve become stuck with (It’s pretty difficult to find a bathing suit for a G cup when you’re a size 10 in pants).
Wish me luck. I hope to not be posting a blog like this again in 3 months. Let’s hope it sticks.
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Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Finding Time to Breathe
Alright. I'm overwhelmed.
I have officially packed too many things on my plate and I'm full.
Being a mommy, a student, working full time, having a dog, managing a garden and trying to keep the house clean is proving to be too much stuff to handle at the moment. I don't have time to exercise. I don't have time to shoot photos. I barely have time to keep up on my hygiene. I read my school lectures and for my essays while on pump-breaks at work. My toes are in need of new polish and I've been trying to find time to repaint them for over a week, only to find myself doing something else that needs to be done instead. I am sleep deprived and running on empty.
I feel like I'll never be done with school and it's very discouraging. Taking one or two classes per semester is going to get me nowhere fast. If I could manage to work part time I could fit a few more classes in every semester... but that's pretty much impossible when you have a child, daycare expenses, are under paid and live in the super-expensive Bay Area. I'm going to keep plugging away at the super-slow pace I'm currently running at and hopefully I'll find a solution soon.
It's important to me that Cooper knows I worked hard to get through school. It's important to me to be able to tell him that it's possible to accomplish great things, even with hurdles and barriers in the way. I never want him to ask me why I didn't finish school or why I stopped, so I'm going to continue, even if it takes me For-ev-er.
Uuuuh.
I have officially packed too many things on my plate and I'm full.
Being a mommy, a student, working full time, having a dog, managing a garden and trying to keep the house clean is proving to be too much stuff to handle at the moment. I don't have time to exercise. I don't have time to shoot photos. I barely have time to keep up on my hygiene. I read my school lectures and for my essays while on pump-breaks at work. My toes are in need of new polish and I've been trying to find time to repaint them for over a week, only to find myself doing something else that needs to be done instead. I am sleep deprived and running on empty.
I feel like I'll never be done with school and it's very discouraging. Taking one or two classes per semester is going to get me nowhere fast. If I could manage to work part time I could fit a few more classes in every semester... but that's pretty much impossible when you have a child, daycare expenses, are under paid and live in the super-expensive Bay Area. I'm going to keep plugging away at the super-slow pace I'm currently running at and hopefully I'll find a solution soon.
It's important to me that Cooper knows I worked hard to get through school. It's important to me to be able to tell him that it's possible to accomplish great things, even with hurdles and barriers in the way. I never want him to ask me why I didn't finish school or why I stopped, so I'm going to continue, even if it takes me For-ev-er.
Uuuuh.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
It's Finally Complete.
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