Transformations

I have had some serious mommy brain (which I'm convinced is a continuation of pregnancy brain), but believe it or not I am even flightier than usual (yes, it's possible). I am a first class space cadet. But there are many things that are different these days. I've noticed many changes in myself since this journey to motherhood began. Sometimes I'm shocked when I realize something else that's changed. Motherhood agrees with me and I feel like I've improved as a person. Here's a few things that are different about me:

Patience - When I start to get frustrated in a line or with an obnoxious person, I hear myself thinking "calm down, be patient" all the time. Little things don't frazzle me like they used to. People who used to make me want to rip my hair out don't bother me so much anymore.

Body Temperature - I find that the AC at work doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I get hot easier at home too. I feel like I'm 5 degrees hotter at any given time.

I'm one of those mom's that are obsessed with their child. My desk is cluttered with photos of my child and he's not even 4 months old yet. Before I know it there will be drawings and macaroni art projects stuck to the wall, that everyone else will think is hideous. I seriously think about Cooper all day at work and patiently wait for 5:00 to hit.

More protective. I try to avoid the freeway more than I did before. I never let the baby sit in the sun (since he can't have sunscreen yet). I watch every step I take, especially when carrying the baby. I think about every decision twice now, because I'm not the only person who is affected by the things I do.

I'm always prepared. I have everything we might need, in case we need it. Extra diapers, sun hat, squeaky toy... you get the picture. It's rare that I don't have a solution for a problem these days.

Multi-tasker extraordinaire. I have found that the easiest time to surf the web is while nursing. I have also become great at doing 2-5 things simultaneously. I can cook dinner, warm a bottle and rock the baby all at once. Edit photos while burping the baby. Pump while writing a paper for school. I amaze myself sometimes.

I'm more assertive, less timid. My tail is no longer between my legs. I seem to stick up for myself more than before. I'm not a jerk about it, but I like to let people know when they've crossed the line.

Calmer and at peace. I am content with myself these days. I love the person I've become. I don't stress of dumb shit anymore. The co-worker that hates me doesn't bother as much and since I've let go my anxiety over the situation, the workplace has become a much more pleasant environment. I enjoy simple things, like laying in the back yard while listening to birds or walking through the neighborhood while looking at the neighbor's gardens. Life amazes me and I love to enjoy every minute.

I don't feel like partying as often. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to party once-in-a-while. Going out seems like a much bigger deal when you rarely do it. I refuse to be one of those moms who leave their kids with Grandma and go out twice every weekend. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since finding out I was pregnant and the baby is four months old now. I feel guilty just being at the nail salon, like I'm missing out on valuable time with the baby. I truly enjoy laying on the ground and babbling with Cooper and could do it for hours. I love being at home with my family.

Kinder and more considerate. It's important to me to spread kindness. I try to compliment people more, to start small conversations in the line at the coffee shop, to suggest books to people at the book store, to bring someone a small gift when they least expect it. I hope little things like this and simple actions contribute to more happiness in the world.

More ambitions - I have this strong need to work hard. School was more of a hobby before. For the first time I actually see myself graduating. It may still take me a while but I am more determined than ever to be an example to my son and most importantly, prove to myself I can do it while working full time and being a mommy.