Showing posts with label Breastfeeding trouble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Breastfeeding trouble. Show all posts

Monday, May 30, 2011

Relief

Breastfeeding has officially become effortless. (*And the crowd cheers*) I now prefer to breastfeed over giving the baby a bottle of breast milk. Much like the baby blues, the scariest part of breastfeeding was not knowing when it would get better.

It seems to be much more common than I thought and I've noticed that many of my large-breasted friends have this problem. I went from a large D to a G overnight. My new gargantuan breasts were cracked and bleeding around the clock, and it felt as if I was carrying around throbbing boulders.

It took me almost 3 months and 5 lactation consultants to get comfortable with breastfeeding. It didn't hurt that long, but that's when I started feeling confident with breastfeeding. I realize now that all I really needed to do was relax. I almost gave up a hundred times. I kept telling myself, "I just have to get to two months". Once I was there, it felt easier so I stuck it out a little longer. Now my goal is to get to 6 months and with the way things are going, we will probably get the once seemingly unobtainable goal of a year.

Now, I nurse Cooper all day and try to only give him a bottle of breast milk if we're out and about, or right before bed (he gets full fast and sleeps through the night). Since I have large breasts, I don't always feel comfortable whipping out a boob when in public, even with the feeding cover I have. It's rather difficult for me to situate and I usually end up flashing someone some titty.

I am so happy I stuck it out. I have so much respect for nursing mothers now. It's easy to feel hopeless when it comes to breastfeeding and there is a saddening sense of guilt associated with not being a master breast feeder; both from inside and from people who don't know what you're going through and are quick to judge.

So, bravo new mommies, bravo.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Not My Thing.

So, I hate breastfeeding. Yeah, I said it. It's just not working for me. It's painful as all hell and nothing is working for me. I have tried everything. I have seen 5 different lactation consultants. None of them can help. I can barely hold my son because my chest hurts so bad, all the time. I have stuck with it for the sake of my son, because I know the benefits to Cooper and he obviously deserves to be as healthy as possible in the first months of his life. But I'm not going to be able to do this much longer. I want to be able to nurse more than anything, I really do. I love looking at Cooper while he nurses and having his sweet little face look back at me... but then I feel the horrible pain that comes along with it and the throbbing pain that creeps up after... and I stop thinking about the good parts of breastfeeding. I really wish this was easier. I feel like I'm the only person that has having this many issues with nursing and it gives me a lot of anxiety. Ugh.