Relief

Breastfeeding has officially become effortless. (*And the crowd cheers*) I now prefer to breastfeed over giving the baby a bottle of breast milk. Much like the baby blues, the scariest part of breastfeeding was not knowing when it would get better.

It seems to be much more common than I thought and I've noticed that many of my large-breasted friends have this problem. I went from a large D to a G overnight. My new gargantuan breasts were cracked and bleeding around the clock, and it felt as if I was carrying around throbbing boulders.

It took me almost 3 months and 5 lactation consultants to get comfortable with breastfeeding. It didn't hurt that long, but that's when I started feeling confident with breastfeeding. I realize now that all I really needed to do was relax. I almost gave up a hundred times. I kept telling myself, "I just have to get to two months". Once I was there, it felt easier so I stuck it out a little longer. Now my goal is to get to 6 months and with the way things are going, we will probably get the once seemingly unobtainable goal of a year.

Now, I nurse Cooper all day and try to only give him a bottle of breast milk if we're out and about, or right before bed (he gets full fast and sleeps through the night). Since I have large breasts, I don't always feel comfortable whipping out a boob when in public, even with the feeding cover I have. It's rather difficult for me to situate and I usually end up flashing someone some titty.

I am so happy I stuck it out. I have so much respect for nursing mothers now. It's easy to feel hopeless when it comes to breastfeeding and there is a saddening sense of guilt associated with not being a master breast feeder; both from inside and from people who don't know what you're going through and are quick to judge.

So, bravo new mommies, bravo.