Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Unwinding the Tightly Wound

My son Cooper will be three months a few days from now and I can just now feel myself begin to chill out. I didn't realize until now how tightly wound up and frazzled I was for the first couple months after Cooper was born. I am still learning to take it easy and not get frustrated with certain things.

A very important role model gave me the best advice, and it was simple. "Go with the flow" she said. "Don't stress about the little things because the time goes by fast". I have been repeating "go with the flow" to myself when I start to get stressed, if something doesn't go as planned, or if Cooper has a meltdown (which is rare). It's easier said than done, especially if you're as anal as I am. But I'm getting better.

Breastfeeding has gotten easier. I was feeling so hopeless, but now I realize how proud of myself I am for sticking it out. My son has gotten the best head-start possible because I wouldn't give up. I made it work, even if I had to do it differently.

We're sleeping again. Cooper recently started sleeping through the night, just when I thought I'd never sleep a full night again.

It all gets easier, even when it starts to feel like you're a sucky mommy for complaining so much.

It truly brings tears to my eyes when I think about the last three months, from the day I was induced until now. It saddens me to see how fast the time has gone. On the other hand, it brings me more joy than I could ever describe to see Cooper change and grow. I was listening to the children's radio station yesterday with Cooper and dancing with him. "What a wonderful world" came on and we slow danced while I sang along, teary eyed. At that exact moment I realized how precious life really is.

Now I just need to focus on my health so I can be strong and active for my little bruiser. The most important thing about this condition is to relax. Stress has been a major contributor to my condition in the past and I need to do whatever I can to make my life less stressful and enjoy every second possible. I know what steps I need to take and what changes in my life need to happen.

Life is good. Very good.

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