I have been reading lots of pregnancy articles online. I have three books that I turn to when I have any questions. Most of the articles and books that focus on what to expect physically also touch upon what a pregnant woman might be feeling emotionally and mentally. Every one lists that being terrified is normal.
I have always wanted to be a mom. Getting pregnant has been a complete blessing and I am so excited to meet my son. Every movement he makes is a miracle. This wonderful feeling and absolutel bliss is apparent around 98% of the time. And that remaining 2%? Terror.
I am so afraid of messing up, it's hard to even write this without betting teary eyed. It's crazy to think of how much I'm going to love this little person, and how much I want to do everything perfect... how they deserve perfection.
After thinking about these feelings for a couple days, I think that being terrified can be a positive thing. Being paranoid about having the car seat set up perfectly and making sure the bottles are BPA free are things that I think every new parent worries about. I think that the more times I double check the seat belt attachment, the more likely it's hooked up correctly.
I also have to accept that not everyone is going to agree with our decisions. That's OK. As my mom always said, there's no parenting manual. I am going to have to trust my instincts.
In less than a month and a half, we will be brand new parents and I can't wait. And although at times it can seem terrifying, it's the best feeling of anticipation I've ever felt in my life.