Barley and Black Bean Salad

My dinner was amazing tonight and I thought I'd share it with you all. It was super easy to make.

Tonights tasty Barley and Black Bean Salad includes:

3 cups cooked pearl barley
1 cup cooled black beans
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1/2 cup unsalted, roasted sunflower seeds
1/4 cup sliced almonds
2 chopped scallions
1 can Trader Joes artichoke hearts (in water), chopped
Sea salt to taste
Two cap fulls of Newman's Lite Sundried Tomato Vinaigrette (or your choice of vinaigrette)

Damn that was good.

Resuming A Difficult Diet

Today is day two of hell; no meat and no dairy. I'm back on the vegan wagon.

I forgot how difficult it is to be vegan. I have quite a bit of vegan food in my house, but going out to dinner tonight was challenging.

It will get easier when I get in the groove of this lifestyle. I did it before and I'll do it again. I'm aware that realistically, there will be times when I'll just have to deal with a little bit of dairy in my meal. But if I don't make a conscious effort to do this *fur-real*, I'll never take it seriously.

I have to remember it's for my own good and it will keep me out of pain and able to take care of Cooper to the best of my ability, without doubling over in pain or having to call in sick to work because it hurts to walk.

I think this week will be the hardest. I just have to get through this week. I have to remind myself that the last time I took on this diet, I enjoyed the food I was eating and I loved the way I felt. I loved the energy I had and I loved not being in constant pain.

Dairy Cow

I'm starting to feel like a dairy cow. My breasts hurt all the time and I sometimes feel like all I do is feed Cooper. I started a free "Baby and Me" mommy group at Kaiser on Thursday and I was told over and over that it gets easier. We shall see. The group was really great and I'm happy I went. It's nice to talk to other new mommies and have people relate to what you're going through. I'm watching Opening Day at the Coliseum on TV, wishing I was at the game. I can't wait to take Cooper to his first game. I suppose I could now, I just am a little nervous about taking the little man to such a busy event. I have been cooking a little, finally. I made a delish vegan dish last night, it was coconut curry on sweet potatoes, yams and crisped tofu with jasmine rice. It was pretty incredible. My biggest challenge is making vegan food not taste like vegan food. I am already craving dairy and wish I didn't have to cut it out... but the flare ups are getting really intense. I feel like I'm falling apart these days and the post-pregnancy healing is still going on. I can't wait to get my energy back and get my diet in order. Cooper and I walked about a mile this evening. I was exhausted when I got home. I never expected it to take me so long to do simple things. It's been 11 1/2 months since I've had a drop of alcohol. I keep saying I'm going to have a glass of wine but end up getting too caught up with Cooper and forget. I have a nice bottle of Coppola's Sofia wine that I've been waiting to open. Perhaps this weekend. So that was my little update. I'm going to try to dive back into this blog soon. We're starting to get a rhythm down with the baby and hopefully he will start sleeping more than 3 hours a night. I can't wait for that day. XO

Working My Ass Off

Spin classes are changing my life!!

I am working my ass off... literally. It's been a slow process but I can see results, finally. I have gone from a size 16 to a size 10 in less than two months and lost 15 pounds. I have been told by a few people that I look thinner but for the most part, I feel like no one's noticing. I feel thinner and definitely more in shape but I sometimes feel like I need a little more outside reassurance so I know my efforts are paying off.

I am taking three spin classes a week, and two of the three are at 6:00 AM. If you have known me for a while you understand how amazing it is that I'm up more than 30 minutes before I have to be to work. I am eating a vegan diet and have cut out 90% of the fat that was in my diet. I make every attempt I can to be more active. I walk to school instead of drive. I take Bucko on a walk every day at lunch instead of just watching him run around a field. When I have free time in the evening or on the weekend I go for long power walks instead of watching TV on my ass and over eating.

But I'm still not completely content. I want to get thinner and loose another 15 pounds before I'll be in a happy place. I have lost an incredible amount of fat but since I'm building muscle, I'm not seeing the results I want to on the scale.

I'm proud of myself and can honestly say that I never, ever thought I'd be where I am today. I have energy. I'm cigarette free. I'm the most fit and in shape I've ever been in my life... yet I still have drive and determination to improve my life even more. I feel like you have to have a certain level of self respect to get to where I am and it took me a long time to build it. But every single step along the way has been worth it and I have never felt more alive.

Decisions, decisions.

I have been vegan since February 12th and I am loving it. I love that every time I put something in my body I feel good about what I just ate. I feel proud for not making bad food choices. I feel like I am not supporting a shitty industry. I feel better throughout the day, have more energy and far less body aches. There are more reasons than not for me to be vegan, yet I already feel like I am having to defend myself and explain my reasons to people, when there's more than one reason. Being vegan is easier than having to deal with people who challenge the idea.

My original reason behind choosing a vegan diet was to try yet another way to deter my endometriosis. I have been reading testimonials and studies for years and years that suggested living a vegan lifestyle to help combat the disease. After talking to a friend who read the book Skinny Bitch, I then read Skinny Bitch. The damn book isn't what made me change my food choices, but it did give me even more reasons not to eat the way I was eating and it helped me take the jump.

Go ahead roll your eyes, I know you are. But when you do, remember this: I don't want to hear about how you feel humans need meat and dairy, because they don't. I don't want to hear how you disagree with my reasoning. You asked me why, I told you. If you don't agree that's totally awesome, I don't need to hear it. I know I'm going to have cravings, challenges and spend twice as much on groceries, but I'm willing.

I would like to stay vegan. I understand that there are certain situations where I might ingest meat or dairy in some way. I'm not going to have a melt down and I know it won't kill me. I might wake up tomorrow and feel like I want a bowl of fro-yo. But there's nothing wrong with trying my hardest to be as healthy as I can be. I feel I deserve to feel good and healthy, since we all know it's been a struggle for me.

So get over yourself and leave my choices alone. I am not a hippy.

I took this photo in October of 2009. It's one of my favorites.