Random Ass Shit Part 2

I love random ass shit but I'm not completely sure how I feel about these...

I kinda feel like I need them. Just because.

A New Collection

I have a few random collections, my favorite being old and lost dog tags. Not like the kind you get in the military, but actual dog collar tags. I love finding them and I seem to find most of them at the Albany Bulb, which is like dog-heaven on earth. Below is one I found last year, it belonged to Finnegan. I wonder what kind of dog he was, where he lived, what his owners were like... I have a few of these tags and I hope to find more. They're hard to come by though and it's really due to chance.

But that brings me to my new collection.

Japanese erasers.

There are like... a fucking billion types and styles of Japanese erasers and I am obsessed with them. Maybe it's because they fall into the "Random Ass Shit" category. They're small, they don't cost much and they're hilarious. I especially like the ones shaped like food.

Super Bucko!

Random Ass Shit

I am a huge fan of random ass shit. I am excitedly going to start posting photos of some of the random ass shit I encounter.

This is a photo of a notebook I recently purchased. I love it and it's randomness so much that I can't figure out what to use it for. Whatever it is, it has to be awesome.

I look forward to sharing more random ass shit with you.

Toss It!

For over two years I have been holding on to clothes that I "knew" I would never fit into. I had this odd little sense of hope that one day I would be the healthy, gym-going girl I wanted to be. I have been holding on to favorite jeans and belts that stopped fitting me three years ago. Today I finally fit into one of those belts.

When watching a weight loss show last week, I heard one of the rules of weight loss is to get rid of clothes that are too big for you, the second you notice that they've become too big. It makes going back not an option. I have five pair of size 12 jeans that seemed to suddenly become to big and I'm donating them tomorrow. I am thrilled that the pair of jeans I held on to for the last three years fit. They are tight... but they fit. And it feels amazing.

And I'm not done. I more goals. But I am the most in shape I have ever been in my life.

And now from another hillarious comic from my favorite, Natalie Dee. I thought I'd miss eggs more than anything... but I don't. This made me realize that and crack up. No pun intended.

Please Don't Pick Up Trash With Uni.

Witnessing History

It never ceases to amaze me that there are so many confused and closed minded people in our country. While I try to respect the opinions of other people and not get into heated political debates, some times I truly want to shake people, especially when I see quotes like this on Facebook:

"Lies, Decepit, and Fascism have won out the day. Congrats. Hail the Liberals in their magnificence and their ability to know what is best for you despite the overwhelming opposition by the majority of constituents / United States citizens in America."

and

"The representative republic and the will of the people have been crushed. Democracy has been given the perverbial finger by the progressive left."

Sometimes I feel like I should say something back and other times I convince myself that I know better. Then there's times where I think I should just delete these people off of my profile. They're not family. I probably won't see them again. Just because we grew up on the same street doesn't mean we have anything else in common, especially when you're poisoning my day (and my Facebook page) with your bullshit.

Perhaps I'll just post this on their page and say "SUUUUUUUCKA"!!

Bucko is a man of leisure.

Bucko is a man of leisure.

Whatever.

I pride myself with my gardening skills and gardening is one of my absolute favorite things.

Yet I can't keep orchids alive. That type of plant hates me.

The two orchid plants shown were mine and on the brink of death. The Boy nursed them back to health and they are flourishing. I'm annoyed as hell that I wasn't the one that could revive them and honestly a little bitter.

Quite Content

I have to say... I am quite content knowing that I never put myself in a position where any of the following things could happened to me.

Working My Ass Off

Spin classes are changing my life!!

I am working my ass off... literally. It's been a slow process but I can see results, finally. I have gone from a size 16 to a size 10 in less than two months and lost 15 pounds. I have been told by a few people that I look thinner but for the most part, I feel like no one's noticing. I feel thinner and definitely more in shape but I sometimes feel like I need a little more outside reassurance so I know my efforts are paying off.

I am taking three spin classes a week, and two of the three are at 6:00 AM. If you have known me for a while you understand how amazing it is that I'm up more than 30 minutes before I have to be to work. I am eating a vegan diet and have cut out 90% of the fat that was in my diet. I make every attempt I can to be more active. I walk to school instead of drive. I take Bucko on a walk every day at lunch instead of just watching him run around a field. When I have free time in the evening or on the weekend I go for long power walks instead of watching TV on my ass and over eating.

But I'm still not completely content. I want to get thinner and loose another 15 pounds before I'll be in a happy place. I have lost an incredible amount of fat but since I'm building muscle, I'm not seeing the results I want to on the scale.

I'm proud of myself and can honestly say that I never, ever thought I'd be where I am today. I have energy. I'm cigarette free. I'm the most fit and in shape I've ever been in my life... yet I still have drive and determination to improve my life even more. I feel like you have to have a certain level of self respect to get to where I am and it took me a long time to build it. But every single step along the way has been worth it and I have never felt more alive.

Things I Need - Part 1

I feel like my life will be closer to complete when I get these shoes. They are effing beautiful, gold with black glitter.

I am not ashamed.

Just Say No to Mom Jeans

I am becoming one of those people I have always despised; the type of person to wear their exercise clothes around casually in public, even when they're not going to be working out. It always bugged me. I don't wear jeans to the gym and I don't wear exercise clothes to go grocery shopping.

Well, I didn't 'til about a week ago.

Now I prefer to be in my super tight Lululemon yoga pants. They make me feel good and they're oh so comfy.

If this were the fashionable work out gear, then we'd have an issue. But it's not, thankfully. I might stop going to the gym all together if this style comes back:




I'd say that we as humans were smart enough to prevent that from happening, but we're not. I thought there were some fashions that would never come back, but I was wrong. Mom jeans are in every single store and it makes me want to vomit:

I posted a photo on Facbook of Tara with some mom jeans at Macy's and one of my Facebook friends got offended. I never said that all moms wear them.




And clearly, she didn't see the SNL skit that I'm referring to. Here it is, enjoy:

That Pillow Sure Looks Comfortable.

Hey Dad. Can I share that pillow with you? Oh, you were sleeping?

That's cool. I'll just take half.

No thanks.

I'm thinking that if THIS is the example you give the public of your dress making skills, I am not (and will never be) interested in your services.

If only you could see the iridescent sequins.

*sigh*

Things That Make My Life Whole

If you know me well, you probably know that my favorite movie is Step Brothers. I recite quotes daily and have seen the movie more times than any other.

I stumbled upon a free Step Brother's soun dboard application for my phone and any quote from the movie is immediately avaiable at the touch of a screen.

It's pretty much the highlight of my year.

I have quotes like "I am so not a raper", "I know for a fact that Cops doesn't come on 'til 4" and "We will have so much room for activities" at my fingertips. In addition, "Boats N' Hoes" and "Volare" in their full version are available as well.

Pretty effing amazing, if you ask me.

"Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur".

I love my life.

It's Still Sexual Harassment... even if it's in Spanish.

If you're going to harass a woman in Spanish, chances are she can still understand what you mean when you say "Miguel! Look at her boobs!" or "I had a dream about her ass", especially if she lives in a state that borders a major Spanish speaking country. I grew up in California. I took 3 years of Spanish as required by my school district. I lived in a bi-lingual household as a teenager and one of the languages was... you guessed it... Spanish.

It's still sexual harassment, even if it's in another language. So stop it. Fortunately for my harasser, I am not one to raise a fuss or have someones job taken from them for something so petty and immature. Fortunately for me, I had a quick comeback line and walked away just as their faces turned white from embarrassment and they realized I understood what they said.

I'm not just a stupid Guerra.

*Giggle*

Tell Me, Who's Watchin'

Yes, that is the stack of money with eyes from the Geico commercials. It's on our ceiling fan in the bedroom. I am patiently waiting for when The Boy lays down for bed. Hopefully he will laugh as much as I did when I placed it there.

I crack myself up.

Never Do This

Thanks. I needed some reminding since doing THAT was on today's list of things to do.


This is one of the many random yet hilarious things I encounter daily at work.

Everybody Pukes.

This isn't one of the eloquent blogs I promised.

I left work Monday due to a nasty case of food poisoning. I puked 6 times at work before lunch. After lunch I threw up on the way to the outside restroom at work, because I was physically incapable of holding it. I was delirious and feeling faint. My boss had The Boy give me a ride home (we work together) since she didn't think I should drive in my condition. It was pretty horrible but thankfully, it didn't last more than 48 hours.

I was telling someone about how I'd had to leave work early on Monday because I couldn't stop throwing up. She looked me disgusted and said something about how nasty that was, as if I had been talking graphically about it. Seriously. This look was awful, as if I'd snatched her puppy and started running. I didn't describe my vomit, I merely stated that it had happened.

Pardon me.

I didn't realize you were beyond throwing up. Last time I checked, all humans do it. Everyone poops too. But apparently some people are immune to most human qualities or actions. Do you shit skittles and burp perfume? Of course you do. I'm sorry I mentioned it and grossed you out. And perhaps you should tell your children that puking is gross, because they can totally control when they get sick and whether or not they throw up. Someone should let them know their mom will be grossed out by their body's natural reaction to illness.

I guess I'm just surprised that people can be so prude. I mean, I'M a prude when it comes to certain things, yet I am comfortable talking about poop and puke. Maybe it's because I've spent so many years taking care of children, nothing shocks me. I would imagine that people with children would have a thicker skin and a stronger stomach. This is not the case.

*Le sigh*